I just spent 3 Days on a Yoga Retreat on the Central Coast and it changed my life...
Here is a little back story as to how I ended up here.
Our good friend Jono Franze who is also a PT and has recently delved into self development came into the studio a few weeks ago to tell me about this retreat he was running and if any of my clients would be interested. When Jono was telling me about it I was drawn to his excitement & enthusiasm and I found myself wanting to be there so badly. I initially thought I would send Dan but I knew after I spoke to Jono that I needed to go to. I wanted to support Jono but also experience a retreat myself as Dan and I have always had dreams of running one.
The week of the retreat I had some blood tests and found our a few things, I have slight inflammation in my body and my cortisol levels are increased, turns out running a business has taken it's toll on me but I'm so passionate about the business I can't let stress get in the way of my passion so the retreat was just perfect timing.
For the last 18 months I've worked with a business coach, she has helped me delve deep into my mindset and help me understand that my mind controls everything. My thoughts become my reality, let me say that again, my thoughts become my reality. If i'm feeling down about business, business is down, if I'm feeling pumped about the business the business in pumping. I never realised how powerful the mind was until i started working with her. Day after day, week after week my thoughts became my reality. 12 months ago we had half the clients, i've been manifesting to double business, 12 months later we now have doubled the business. This did not happen by just hard work or luck, this happened because I dreamed it, visualised it, wrote it down, said it, I manifested it.
If you knew me 10 years ago you would never believe I would be running a business. I never believed I was a 'career woman' I remember saying that to myself. I just wanted a cruisey job 9-5 Mon-Fri and guess what for 10 years of my life I didn't have a 'career' but I always worked really hard at it, even if it wasn't something I was passionate about but I truely wan't happy. When I became a trainer I never wanted to work for anyone, I didn't want to be in a gym so 2 weeks out from being a PT I had created a 6 week challenge with 8 ladies, outdoors in the middle of winter and my business grew from there. At the time it just felt right, this is what I was meant to do, me, the girl who was never the best at anything but OK at most deciding to run a business. (I really had NO idea what I was doing!)
So over the past 18 months I have seen myself evolve so much, I can't believe who I am and what I have created and that's why doing this retreat was going to be the best thing for me thus far because I was going to find out who I really am because I was having so many doubts and some break downs.
I believe to unlock your deepest fears, thoughts and desires you need to really get out of your comfort zone and that's exactly what we did on Saturday morning, Jono initiated a tribal dance where the group would be in a circle and we each had to take turns dancing to 1/2 a song. Yep you heard me, isn't this your worst nightmare?! All eyes on you, watching you dance?! My heart was racing, my palms were so sweaty and I felt so uncomfortable but I knew everyone else felt exactly the same and we were not there to judge but to support each other. The music started and straight away I started to move, I started to let go, I was the first person in after Jono and I let loose! I danced like a madman, jumping around, wooing, I felt like a warrior and I felt like I wanted to lead by example to show the other people there that it's ok, this is safe, have fun and just let it all come out. We danced like no one was watching it was the most liberating feeling I have ever felt. We danced like this for about an hour and when the music stopped I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry and I wanted to do it all again. I have never felt such freedom, presence, liberation and power in all my life.
This opened the door for me to really find out who I am and why I am here, I needed to know my purpose. Is Erin meant to be running a business? Wasn't I meant to just have a cruisey job? Is Erin meant to be dreaming so big? Aren't I meant to just be sitting back and going with the motions? Is Erin meant to hold such responsibility for her family? Is Erin meant to feel such deep emotions? I'm no philosopher! Is Erin meant to lead a tribe of women? Why would anyone listen to me?
Going into this retreat I had so much doubt about who I am. How could I possibly run a successful business, live a fulfilling meaningful life, have financial freedom i've always desired and remain happy? Isn't that all meant to be stressful, lead me to burn out, make me resent my job, resent myself for starting a business in the first place, hate the fact I can never take holidays becomes i'm so tied down?
This is where the retreat changed my life, through the experience of the dance, meditation, astrology, yoga and spending time with like minded people and NOT using technology I found myself. I am a successful business owner, I am like the spirit animal the beaver!
'In general, beaver symbolism is reminding you to act on your dreams to make them a reality. In other words, it takes focus, goals and hard work to reach what you desire to create. Beaver symbolism insists that you have a plan and act on it. Beaver symbolism also sets the example that teamwork on all levels will make easier to build your dreams into reality. Furthermore, you must align your dreams and goals with your coworkers and family to streamline the process.
People with the beaver totem are generally a team player. They are at their best when they work in groups with set common goals even though they are self-sufficient. Beaver totem people know when it’s time to work and when it’s time to play. Explicitly, they take great joy and pride in strong, structured, and disciplined family connections. People with this spirit animal are always motivated and willingly start new and creative projects. Thus, they are not afraid to build on their dreams.
Folks that have this rodent as their animal totem are born engineers in all realms and are very inventive. They continually come up with new solutions, alternative routes and value a sense of achievement. Also, these people are intensely disciplined and plan continuously. People with this totem have to be careful that they do not become too self-sacrificing. They must find a balance in their lives.'
I know now that this path is for me, it was destined for me and i'm doing a bloody bad-ass job of doing it! I was always too afraid to talk about my mind-set shifts to my clients because I had a fear that I would sound like an idiot or I didn't sound 'philosophical' enough. But that's not how I work, that's not me, I let things out in a short, descriptive way, my mind IS deep but how I say it doesn't matter, it's the energy behind it that matters.
When I was dancing like a mad woman I had visions of dancing like this around a fire with people I know, my family, friends and my clients, we are all laughing and letting go. I see the change in them before my very eyes and we share a deep connection that we 'get it'. I know now that I have so much more to offer and I don't need to be afraid about how I deliver it, I feel freedom, I feel open and I feel so much clarity about who I am.
On the last day we went around the room and we had to say x1 word to describe each person, it was a beautiful experience and very emotional I really had to hold back tears when people spoke but 2 words stood out the most for me. 'Bright and Nurture'. I know that's me, I know I want to nurture women, I want them to feel as good as I do, I want them to feel like the amazing warrior, goddess when I was dancing around the room, when I think of bright I think of 'light', I think of energy and that's what I feel within me, so much energy I need to share it.
Maybe you will see a change in me, maybe you won't notice but all I can say is I am authentic and genuine, this is the REAL me, I am not afraid to be her or show my true colours because being real and being truly happy within yourself is the best gift I have received.